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Reader Anne has sent in a few tips for the Minnesota Twins, now that they’ve gotten their grass-filled stadium.  These tips are very good for all of us, not just the Twins, so I thought I’d pass them along to you (with a bit of editorial snarkiness from me):

 To remove unsightly grass stains from your uniform (or other apparel), try one of these suggestions from Cornell UniversityStart with the first tip, and if it doesn’t work, try the next suggestion, working your way through the list until the stain is gone. 

The older the stain the more you need to repeat some of the steps, but you don’t have to shop for ingredients unless you don’t have any of these on hand – use whatever ingredient you have available. 

 Use a metal spoon to work in the solution so that you don’t “fuzz-up” the fabric fibers as you would with a toothbrush.  You’ll probably have to go shopping for this, since stadiums don’t give you more than a plastic spoon with which to eat.

 1.  Remove baseball player from clothing.  Tell him to “hit the showers!”

 2.  Apply several drops of amyl acetate.  Blot. Flush with water, then repeat as necessary (amyl acetate is banana oil and sold in drug stores.  Use chemically pure amyl acetate.  Do not use oil-type nail polish remover).  Tell the baseball players that a team that smells fresh like a banana has a better chance of winning the pennant.

 3. Apply an ammonia solution.  Blot. Flush with water (use household ammonia without added color or fragrance.  Mix 1 tablespoon of ammonia with 1/2 cup of water or add ammonia to detergent solution).  If the players complain, sweetly tell them that ammonia is also used to kill slugs.  If they’re not fast enough off the plate, they could be considered slugs and ammonia-fied.

 3.  Apply a vinegar solution. Flush with water (use white vinegar.  May be diluted. add 2/3 cup water to 1/3 cup of vinegar or add vinegar to detergent solution).  This is best used on any players’ uniform after he gets caught in a run-down between bases, commonly called a ‘pickle’.

***Detergent solution: use a mild liquid dishwashing detergent; 1 teaspoon in 1 cup of warm water.

 

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